Posts tagged ‘Depression’

When God/Jesus Christ Seems Distant…….

We go through times and periods in our lives where we feel nothing but joyous, content and very, very close to the Lord, where our faith is rock-solid & unshakeable. But at other times in our lives, God/Jesus Christ can seem VERY distant.

And several questions start running through one’s mind: “is the Lord angry with me?”, “does the Lord hate me?”, “is the Lord unhappy with me?”, “am I being punished for something?”, etc.

We have a human tendency to think that Jesus Christ is distancing himself from US. But what’s REALLY going on is that WE are distancing ourselves from HIM.

It all starts out SO slowly & subtlety.  “I don’t feel like reading any of the bible today”, “I don’t feel like going to work today”, “I don’t feel like cleaning the house today”, “I don’t feel like taking the kids to the zoo today”, etc. And then, it all branches out from there.

And then, before we know it, we don’t feel like doing most of ANYTHING, we start to forget what’s even in the bible in the first place, our faith becomes LACKING, and we’re not even sure what we truly follow anymore. And that’s a very scary place to be in, INDEED.

This is usually the start of the “justification of sin” phase that we Christians can easily fall into.

We try telling ourselves things like: “oh, it’s okay I took a small fountain drink from work without paying for it, the customer before me said I could have THEIR drink since they weren’t going to get the fountain drink that came with their meal” or “it’s okay if I take a penny from the communal change bucket to help pay for something, that’s not stealing, it’s ONLY a penny”, etc. But the truth of the matter is, Jesus Christ is ALWAYS WATCHING US (every move we make, every word we say, even every thought we do so much as “think”). And he uses such experiences to “test us” and to “test our character”.

I’ve seen customers at work that will try to pay for a fountain cup full of ice water because they don’t realize the ice water is free. I’ve also had other customers who came up to actually PAY for a fountain drink refill. And that’s pretty amazing since our fountain drink station is pretty much out in the lobby area, UNMONITORED by any employees at my work. Customers could very easily steal fountain drinks without any employee at my work being none the wiser. (And many do, probably). But the fact that THOSE few customers who were honest enough to actually try to PAY for fountain cups of ice water or for fountain drink refills taught me a VERY valuable lesson about the bible and the importance of APPLYING the bible to our lives directly by HONESTY!

Because lets face it, stealing is stealing in God’s eyes, it doesn’t matter if it’s a pen from the bank, etc. (even though many steal pens mistakenly/subconsciously — though it STILL doesn’t make it okay) or something as small as 1 PENNY!

And trust me, if it was the day of your final hour on this Earth (and nobody knows for sure the very “precise” moment when they will die) and the ONLY thing standing between you, the true, biblical Christian and eternal condemnation was just ONE unrepentant “stolen penny” from the common change bucket (for example), you’d repent and immediately place the penny back in the common change bucket, wouldn’t you?

But in general, we humans are prideful, arrogant creatures. We (for the most part) do NOT like hearing that we are sinners. We LIKE hearing about or thinking about how great we are or how talented we are. But the truth is, we are NOTHING without God, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

God/Jesus Christ is the author of ALL LIFE, and is also the creator of ETERNAL LIFE & ETERNAL CONDEMNATION. Without HIM, we’d have no life/existence, PERIOD, nor would we have any chance of eternal life & Eternal Salvation.

Romans 3:23 states: “For all have sinned & fallen short of the glory of God”. Translation? We’re ALL sinners. Not one of us is perfect. Not one. We are ALL going to sin at some point in our lives and we are ALL going to make mistakes from time to time. It’s how we LEARN from those mistakes that count.

And our spiritual walk with Jesus Christ is NOT always gonna be a smooth one either, so we need to remember that and keep that in mind.

In fact, Jesus says in John 15: 18-23 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also. But all these things will they do unto you for my name’s sake, because they know not him that sent me. If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin. He that hateth me hateth my Father also”.

In other words, Jesus Christ told us in the bible that we (as true, biblical Christians) would have to go up against much clamour and opposition from “the world” (who’s pursuits are greed, money, materialism, lust, envy, pride, sloth, hatred, godlessness, etc.) He also informed us in the bible that he would be persecuted by the Romans AND the Jews who were loyal to Rome. And because HE was persecuted by the “secular” world of his day, that we true, biblical Christians would ALSO be persecuted by the secular world of OUR modern day.

And because of this, some Christians will give up at the first sign of spiritual struggle. They will say things like: “I knew it was pretty hard to try to gain entry into God’s Eternal Kingdom someday but I never realized it was gonna be THIS HARD, sheesh!” And then, for them, that’s it. They don’t feel like being a “Christian” anymore. And quite frankly, Satan is DELIGHTED when that happens, for these poor people are “easy pickins” for him.

But for those Christians out there who STRIVE their very hardest to try to gain entry in God’s Eternal Kingdom someday? That’s who Satan wants to overcome THE MOST. And he will stop at NOTHING to try to make that happen! He will try to throw just a little tiny bit of DOUBT into a Christian’s mind OR make one OVERCOME with feelings of shame, guilt & fear.

And once Satan manages to harvest some of those negative emotions into a Christian person’s mind, they become “easy prey” for him! He can THEN try to make them feel lazy or depressed or doubtful and from there, getting them to not read their bible every week, and neglecting their house/kids/marriage/self is a walk in the park for him!

And then, once Satan has someone neglecting their house/kids/work/marriage/self/LIFE, getting them to doubt their faith & slowly turn away from God is “no problem t’all”.

But there’s one thing that Satan is VERY, VERY good at and that’s THIS: getting people to get mad at God/Jesus Christ for the actual spiritual havoc, that he, Satan himself, is causing in their lives in the first place!

People will say things to themselves or to close friends like “why does God/Jesus Christ seem to have it out for me right, now?”, “why does God hate me?”, “what does God have against me? I didn’t do anything!”etc. And the sad part is, it’s actually SATAN who hates them, it’s SATAN who “has it out for them” and quite frankly, it’s SATAN who’s punishing them for having previously tried to live a Christ-centered life.

But AS SOON as people start blaming God/Jesus Christ for the spiritual havoc in their lives, Satan is having a ball, while reeling them in on his fishing line in one quick, swift motion! And before a person realized what’s hit them, they haven’t read the bible in 6 months to a year, they couldn’t tell you who Joshua or Caleb was, they haven’t fellowshipped with other believers for quite some time, they’ve quit preaching to others about Christ & Eternal Salvation, they don’t even remember the last time they prayed for forgiveness of their sins or the last time they had an actual date with their spouse or took the kids to the park or the zoo, etc.

And then, some Christians will oftentimes think: “well, I’m already this far gone from God, might as well stay here”. They come to a place of lukewarmness where they are TOTALLY forgetting the fact that Jesus Christ is the author of all life and that he has the power to change any negative thing in their lives for the better! They forget about the miracles of the Lions’ Den, of the parting of the Red Sea, of the turning the water into wine, of bringing back Lazarus from the dead, etc.

In their minds, Jesus Christ is not a God of miracles and of all life. In their minds, Jesus Christ becomes this sort’ve “burdensome taskmaster”. They tell themselves: “it’s too hard being Christian these days………besides, Jesus Christ’s not gonna send EVERYONE to eternal condemnation after they die, right? Only the MAJOR evil people like Hitler & Stalin, correct?” while totally forgetting the fact that EVEN Hitler & Stalin could’ve been saved had they TRULY repented of their deeds right before they died.

And yes, it’s true. The “path” to eternal life & eternal Salvation is a very narrow path, INDEED!

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7: 13-14Enter ye in at the strait gate: for WIDE is the gate, and BROAD is the way, that leadeth to DESTRUCTION, and MANY there be which go in thereat: Because STRAIGHT is the gate, and NARROW is the way, which leadeth unto LIFE, and FEW there be that find it“.

In other words, it’s a hard and narrow path to find AND be/stay on but with the HELP of Jesus Christ himself, is NOT an “impossible” path to find or be/stay on.

This guy says it best when he mentions we need to read the Holy Bible, King James Version, DAILY. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Not just SOME days of the week but ALL days of the week. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.


If you’re struggling right now in your spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ and are not sure where to turn, turn to a verse in the King James Bible, ANY verse, and start reading. Even if you don’t FEEL like it. And then sooner or later, you will have a desire to keep reading and that’s exactly how Jesus Christ feverishly works to restore us to HIM!

Then again, sometimes the important thing is just letting Yeshua/Jesus Christ know how you feel. TELL him you’re feeling doubt, TELL him that you feel like he’s distant from you, TELL him whatever it is you’re struggling with in life right now, faith-wise or otherwise and he’ll be glad to answer you. You can even PRAY to have more faith and more trust in him!

What do you think the Lord’s gonna say if you pray to him to have more faith? Do you think he’s gonna say NO? If you pray to have more faith, he will GIVE you more faith. He’ll give you situations in which your faith starts to build up bit by bit and little by little. We just got to learn to trust him.

And think of it THIS way: he created the universe and the heavens! So don’t you think he knows what he’s doing in YOUR life? Cause afterall, it’s not like he’s gonna be a type of creator God that creates the Earth and the heavens, and then scratch his head in confusion over how to deal with a mere human’s lifetime! Nothing in our lives will have him “stumped”! He is the author of all life! 

I pray that all souls that read this blog and/or this very post will either come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ or come BACK to the saving knowledge/restored spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ before it’s too late and before their souls become on the path to be lost for eternity. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How The Lord Saved Me From Suicide…..[UPDATED]

 

I’m very ashamed and embarrassed to admit this, but when I was around 19-21 years old, I had made around 5+ suicide attempts on my life. The reasons for my wanting to do so were varied but the number one reason I wanted to do it EACH individual time was because I had lost my faith/trust in Jesus Christ, falsely thought EACH time that Jesus Christ didn’t love me anymore, and was under MOST SEVERE DEMONIC OPPRESSION.

People seem to think that those who try to kill themselves are “stupid”, “foolish” or “weak” or what not but please BELIEVE ME when I say that WHEN a person attempts suicide, they feel as though they’re at the end of their rope and HAVE NO HOPE. Even CHRISTIAN PEOPLE who have strong faith can become suicidal (sometimes even REPEATEDLY suicidal – as was in my case) when they feel as though they’re all forgotten about by Jesus Christ, like Jesus Christ is no longer there in their lives or loves them anymore, when they began to feel as though they’re too “bad” to get into Paradise/Eternal kingdom of God, someday, etc.

But you’ve got to remember that Satan and his fellow fallen angels (DEMONS) are GREAT DECEIVERS. It all starts out SO SMALL, too. As in “man, I did REALLY, REALLY BAD on that test today” or “man, I’m such a loser” or the like. And then slowly over time, Satan and his demons try to go even further by putting the following FALSE THOUGHTS in one’s head:

“You’re ugly, you’re no good, you’re a loser, you’re never gonna amount to ANYTHING in life, you’ll never have kids/family of your own, no-one’s ever gonna want to marry you, Jesus Christ hates you, your name’s been permanently etched out of the Book of Life, hell awaits you, everybody hates you, nobody loves you, you’re stupid, you’re weak, everybody’s making fun of you and laughing at you behind your back, your life’s NEVER gonna get better, nobody will miss you/nobody will come to your funeral, Jesus Christ WILL forgive you if you kill yourself, you’re FAT, you’re HIDEOUS, everybody WANTS you to kill yourself, you’re dying of cancer, your Satanic-worshiping relative will go to eternal paradise someday and YOU won’t, it’s TOO LATE for you to be forgiven of your sins now, Jesus Christ will NEVER forgive all your sins, you’re such an IDIOT, YOU tried to kill yourself on more than one occasion, YOU made Jesus Christ CRY, etc.”

And even though most Christians KNOW in their heart of hearts that the false thoughts that Satan and his demons try to put into their minds, hearts, body and spirits are blatantly FALSE……..over time…….the thoughts become OVERPOWERING in their mind. And nothing they seem to say or do seems to “shut off” the thoughts. Some turn to the bible or to Jesus Christ and try to PRAY away their pain.

But then, they sometimes lose heart and lose their TRUST in Jesus Christ (and the fact that he has the power to change their lives around) when Satan and his demonoids RELENTLESSLY come at them with: “Oh, sure! Cry out to Jesus! He doesn’t give a *darn* about you or what happens in your life! Ah……He’s forgotten ALL about you, you poor fool! That’s why you’re in this mess in the first place! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!” Yet OTHERS will try to turn to TV, music, movies, shopping, food and/or the internet to try to “drown out” their pain.

They began to relentlessly search for OTHER methods to try to drown out the pain and/or demonic influences trying to overtake them. Some turn to drinking or drugs to try to drown out those negative thoughts (which oddly, only manages to INCREASE the demons’ hold on their mind & spirit!) Others try listening to sad, depressing music, loud heavy metal, trance/new age to try to drown out the self-hatred/self-anger in their soul (which oddly, only seems to INCREASE IT!)

Sadly, listening to new age or heavy metal music actually invites demons to come into your mind, heart, body and spirit. Therefore, listening to “angry” heavy metal music or new age music doesn’t “help” the problem of negative thoughts (coming about from demonic oppression to the person), it only serves to EXACERBATE THEM. Yet others try to turn to Wicca/Witchcraft, thinking that The Craft will somehow help them gain control over their own lives………only to later realize that dabbling in Witchcraft has *damning consequences* to the mind, heart, body and spirit! (Once the demons are invited in, they very rarely go!!!!! Plus they make you do things you would NEVER normally do under normal circumstances. They become in COMPLETE CONTROL over you and your life becomes not your own anymore! Very scary, INDEED!)

Three separate times with the 19-21 years of age time-frame, I tried to smother myself, each attempt being months apart from the previous one. And EACH time, I was well within a single BREATH of my life, and I’d hear the sound of Jesus Christ sitting beside me on the couch/bed, BITTERLY BITTERLY BREAKING DOWN AND WEEPING and saying to me, “I know your apparent reasons for wanting to do this but WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?”, and AS he said those words to me during each of the 3 separate attempts, he would POWERFULLY and AGGRESSIVELY (perhaps even ANGRILY?) grab the pillow away from me and THROW it across the room!

And each and every time, I would simply KNOW it was him, no doubt in my mind, whatsoever! And I’d break down and cry afterwards, each and every time and would be ever so grateful that he saved me. And things would be okay for awhile. But then the total SHAME & GUILT would come in and overtake me: “YOU tried to kill yourself more than once! YOU made Jesus CRY!” and I would start to HATE MYSELF all over again. It was such a vicious cycle.

I made 3 more meager attempts at suicide within that 19-21 years of age time-frame but NONE of those times worked out. Something always happened. Either somebody would distract me by making a phone call to me and telling me they were coming over to the house, or the pills I tried to O.D. on did nothing TO me or a violent t-storm kept me too distracted to concentrate on killing myself. So I kind’ve gave up on trying to kill myself after awhile. I thought: “what’s the point in trying to kill myself if the Lord won’t even let me die, anyways?” But at the same time, I was almost in a sense somewhat angry at the Lord for not letting me kill myself. I remember saying outloud: “Lord, why can’t you just let me die in peace? Can’t you see I’m in ALOT of pain? I’m in SO much pain these days that I can barely even BREATHE!”

One day, I just couldn’t take it anymore and got to my breaking point again. I decided I should just end it all and reasoned with myself that hell would probably feel “sensational” compared to the current pain I was under. So as I sat at the computer one night, I decided to humor myself a bit and went to the site http://www.suicide.com thinking that maybe it would tell me some good ways to try to off myself. [And remember, even though I was grateful for Jesus saving me from all PREVIOUS attempts, up until that point, I had felt SO MUCH SHAME AND GUILT for even wanting to attempt it in the first place……and for making him cry……and that shame and guilt felt BEYOND OVERPOWERING……..

So I went on the website and the very first image I saw on the screen was an animated image of a white candle being lit on the left hand side of the screen. I thought to myself “hhmm……that’s weird”. And then I noticed italicized words being typed across the page (left to right)…..as if being typed on a typewriter. They were “scrolling” across the page. The words were saying things like “Hi, I am here to help you. And before you do anything drastic, I want you to wait a bit. Wait 5 minutes, hear me out, just read what I have to say.  I thought “okay, I can do that, sounds reasonable enough”.

And as the words (in bold black italic Comic Sans? font) were being typed & scrolled across the page, I was astounded at what I was reading. My first assumption was “hhmm. must be a computer tech guy on the website or something”. But then I noticed the “person” typing messages to me across the webpage seemed “super human”, almost “angelic”, even. For this “person” seemed to be reading my every waking thought! And then scroll-typing it across the page! Things about me, that up until that point, I hadn’t told a SOUL! And there was NO way this “person” could’ve possibly known all that, save they being a holy, divine angel of the Lord!

So my first question was “who are you?” The angel tried to say that it wasn’t important and that he had a job to do. But I pestered and pestered the angel. Finally, the “angel” admitted that he was Michael! Once I discovered the true identity of the “person” typing across the page [as in, the archangel Michael], I gave him a VERY hard time by asking outloud “oh yeah? if the Lord’s so good, how come he makes me suffer with severe depression and severe social anxiety?” while also reminding him of just how ANGRY the Lord had gotten with me a week earlier after I accidentally mocked Jesus without meaning to but that even then, I didn’t think I was worthy of life, now and things like that. In short, I was trying to keep Michael there as long as possible.

He told me about the realities of and just how HOT the fires of hell and the lake of fire are. He described it to me like this: “light a flame from a small lighter” (commanding me to do this literally, saying he’d wait for me until I did so). “Now hold your finger and/or hand over the flame. FEEL THE INTENSITY of that flame and how hot it is!” (Again, waiting for me until I did just that). Then he continued…..

“Now imagine a flame that’s 10,000 times hotter than the flame being placed under your hand now and that is just a small TASTE of what the fire of hell is like. And someday, the fires of hell are gonna MERGE INTO what’s called the lake of fire. The lake of fire is 1,000,000,000 times hotter than the fires of hell. And all those who don’t put their faith, trust and love into Lord Jesus will burn in the lake of fire for ETERNITY. Is that what you want? he asked.

I had to admit that no, that’s not what I wanted, that’s not what I wanted AT ALL. In fact, NONE of those times did I really want to die, I just wanted the pain the end. Michael reminded me JUST HOW LUCKY I was that the Lord Jesus cared SO much about me, that he wouldn’t let me die and go to hell any of those times. Michael reminded me that had Jesus Christ truly wanted to, he could’ve just let me die and sent me straight to hell…….the very same hell that Michael was describing to me across the webpage! [moments earlier]

At the conclusion of our discussion, (me speaking outloud or thinking to myself) and Michael responding to my thoughts and questions through his scrolling words across the webpage, he told me he had to quickly leave because he had another job to do (another suicide he must try to prevent), but made me promise I wouldn’t harm myself that night or the next couple nights to come.

I promised him I wouldn’t. Then I shut down my browser and completely turned off my computer. Afterall, Michael’s mission in the name of the Lord [atleast as far as “I” was concerned] had already been accomplished, or so I thought.

Right after I shut down my computer, I heard a soft whispering voice behind me say “look up at your blank monitor screen, hurry, you don’t want to miss it”. So I looked up at my blank monitor screen and across my blank, completely turned-off monitor screen were the scrolling words (from right to left) in light blue italic [what looked like 36pt or so Trebuchet MS] font: “The Lord Bless You and Keep You. Amen”. And then, just like that, the archangel Michael was gone, on to the next big assignment of trying to save yet ANOTHER poor soul from suicide, as he had just told me moments earlier before his telling me to look up at the blank computer screen.

And I just sat there, staring at my blank computer screen for quite some time, even going so far as to tenderly rub my hand across the blank computer monitor screen, pondering what had just happened. It was nothing short of a miracle! [YET AGAIN, in my life!] I broke down and cried! And just stared at that blank computer screen for HOURS. [Next to the day I met Jesus Christ in person near the age of 2, and next to the previous 3 times Jesus miraculously saved me from suicide, I had never felt so LOVED, CHERISHED and VALUED!)

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that ALL failed suicide attempts in one’s life are A TRUE GIFT FROM THE LORD ABOVE! (No one suicide attempt – if successful – is worth an eternity in hell/the lake of fire!!!!!). And the point I want to try to make is THIS: Just because the Lord Jesus Christ repeatedly saved ME or other people from suicide does NOT mean that he’s going to automatically save EVERYONE from suicide. And life is a gamble. Ya never know if you’d end up being one of the ones he prevented from suicide or if you’ll be one of the ones that he allows to go ahead and die.

THEREFORE, DON’T TRY TO KILL YOURSELVES, PEOPLE! Life is worth living! Talk to a trusted friend, family member, counselor, etc. if you’re feeling depressed! Do NOT keep it all bottled up inside! And if anyone close to you TELLS you to go kill yourself, DON’T LISTEN TO THEM! For Satan has many faces! And remember, Satan WANTS you to kill yourself so you’ll go to the flames FOR ETERNITY! But Jesus Christ does NOT want you to kill yourself! Jesus Christ WANTS you to live so that you can hopefully someday join him in Eternal Paradise! Jesus Christ CARES! 😉 And he loves you more than you could ever imagine, MARK MY WORDS! 😉

I pray that ALL souls who read this will be SAVED from suicide and severe depressive thoughts, now and for eternity. Amen.

P.S.: If you’re severely depressed and need someone to talk to, please write to: pray_to_Jesus@yahoo.com

 

Special Notice: The Truth About Suicide…….

Several millions of people in today’s world struggle with depression every day. Many more struggle with SEVERE depression and thoughts of suicide. In fact, many of us or someone we know has either struggled with depression themselves or knows of someone who’s family has been affected by suicide.

And looking around the net, there seems to be several suicide “myths” out there and they are the following:

1. If a person talks about suicide, they won’t actually do it.

2. If a person appears to be fine after talking about suicide, they are fine and there’s no need to worry.

3. Suicidal thoughts only happen to people who come from broken homes or with a criminal or drug history.

4. Suicidal thoughts don’t occur to people who live within affluent, stable homes.

5. If a person is hell-bent on dying, there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

6. Suicidal people don’t leave any signs beforehand.

7. There’s no successful way to pre-screen for suicidal thoughts/tendencies.

8. Severe depression can be “snapped out of”.

9. People that talk about suicide have already made up their minds and don’t want to be helped to overcome their thoughts of depression.

10. Depression (specifically severe depression) is not treatable.

Now, please keep in mind that the following 10 things are a MYTH! Severe depression IS treatable, there ARE successful ways to pre-screen a person for suicidal thoughts and depression itself does NOT discriminate among age, race, religion, class, color, nationality or gender.

If you or anyone you know starts exhibiting the following signs, PAY ATTENTION! And then tell someone IMMEDIATELY! Don’t take it sitting down….

1. A person loses interest in life and previously enjoyable hobbies and activities (such as playing music, reading, etc.)

2. A person starts giving away all of their possessions.

3. A person has most recently gone through a major life change (divorce, break-up, death in the family, etc.)

4. A person (specifically a Christian person) starts to lose their faith in God and/or talks about their major frustrations with God and/or themselves. THIS IS A RED FLAG, people!

5. A person starts talking about how much you mean to them or looking at you like they are never gonna see you again. (It is their way of trying to say goodbye).

6. A person talks or jokes about death, depression and/or suicide, how much better their life would be if they weren’t around. They also might possibly talk about how they plan to do it. (Take all such words SERIOUSLY, people!)

7. A person becomes lonely and isolated and is currently unemployed AND doesn’t go out of the house much anymore. A huge red flag!

8. A person talks about how much they hate their life and/or how worthless they feel and/or how “bad” life is treating them and how they see no way out.

9. A person refuses to let you help them overcome their feelings of pain, depression and hopelessness. (Note: if you don’t know their first & last name & city, get this information IMMEDIATELY and then call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK & report the person as possibly suicidal {{the hotline is a FREE 24-hour service & is staffed by professional people who care}} and/or call the local police department of whatever city they live in. Or, if you’re able to, get the phone-number of their friends or parents and let them know IMMEDIATELY what’s going on).

10. A person becomes extra happy all of a sudden in their lives or extra sad (depending on the what the “norm” is). Extreme feelings of happiness after a long period of isolation/sadness suggest that they’re happy that they’ve finally made up their mind to end it all. And extra sadness after a long period of happiness would ALSO suggest that a person may be going through a really rough, rough time in their lives. So pay attention. There are always subtle hints & clues.

But no matter WHAT, don’t give up on the person. Keep talking to them and trying to find out what’s wrong, keep positively encouraging them to overcome their feelings of depression……KEEP PRAYING FOR THEM NON-STOP and having others pray for the person…….Strongly encourage them to talk to friends and family members and/or a therapist about what’s going on in their lives. Call their family/friends and/or local police department once you have their first and last name & city info….

Do NOT give up on them, no matter what. People that talk about feeling depressed are SERIOUS, people! They do NOT make it up for attention! BELIEVE ME ON THIS!!!!!!!

This post is dedicated to all those who even have been affected by depression and/or suicide in one way or another. I pray that the Lord will heal you & watch over you and guide you and protect you, always. Amen.





Self-Sabotaging: I Never Knew……Until NOW….

Self-sabotaging.

It can come in many other forms besides just drugs, crime, self-cutting, etc.

It took me awhile to see this, but I have most recently discovered that I am my own worst enemy; meaning that I am the only one who’s sabotaging myself and my life. And trust me, that was a hard pill for me to swallow.

Most recently, the Lord Jesus has shown me just how MUCH I’ve been self-sabotaging myself and my relationships in my life and also just how MUCH my life would be different if I were to lean on him and TRUST him, instead of just always trying to do things MY way.

I’ve seen Christians judging other Christians right and left and I always used to say to myself “I’ll never be like one of those”. Looking back however, it kind’ve reminds me of the parable/story in the bible where two men go to pray. One of them says “thank you Lord that I am not like THOSE men” while the other man said “oh Lord, please have mercy on me, a sinner!” The first man was a Pharisee and the second man was a poor man. And in my own self-righteousness in my past, I became like the Pharisee (something I had always sworn to myself that I’d never become).

But anyways, back to the story. So due to my employment struggles and life struggles, I began to feel disillusioned and like the whole entire world was against me (even those close to me). I began to think negative thoughts of myself and others over time (I admit this to my shame) and then, it wasn’t long before the “resentment” started to eat away at me and consume me. I then became VERY pessimistic of a person and even downright “irritated” with people who were happy and joyous in life or that trusted the Lord completely. (Though deep, deep down, I was jealous. I wanted to trust the Lord as much as THEY did and to also feel the joy that THEY feel, being right with God). But the Devil kept tearing away at me night and day saying “you’re already too far gone, there’s no hope for you” and “Jesus hates you now”.

And for awhile there (I also admit this to my shame), I started believing the Devil’s lies. And it wasn’t long before I wasn’t able to trust anyone or ANY THING in my life. Whenever someone was friendly with me, I’d say to myself “yeah right, they’re being fake with me”. Whenever a guy would try to innocently look at me or ask me out, I’d say “yeah right, he probably only wants one thing”. Whenever I had a friend say to me “don’t worry about your past friends that stabbed you in the back, I never would”, I’d think “yeah right, you’re probably just as bad if not WORST than my other friends”. And whenever I’d get a job interview and wouldn’t get the job, I’d assume the worst and just start to automatically shut down and give up saying to myself “my gosh, if THIS place won’t hire me, then probably NOBODY will hire me!”

It even got to the point where I was even starting to get paranoid, fearing that people were talking bad about me at the grocery store, at the gas station, etc. And I even started to blame the people most close to me for all the things that were going wrong in my life, even.

Only most recently did Jesus Christ open up my eyes by more or less spiritually saying to me “Ya know what? Next to Satan, you’re your own worst sabotager and own worst enemy that I know”. He then raised his voice a little in the dream and more or less asked “WHY WON’T YOU WAIT ON ME AND TRUST ME? DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING? ESPECIALLY SINCE I CREATED THE UNIVERSE AND THE HEAVENS AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN? WHY WON’T YOU TRUST ME? I **DO** HAVE A PLAN, AFTERALL….IF YOU WILL ABIDE IN ME, THAT IS….” (there seemed to be some sort of doubt or hesitation in his voice about rather or not I would abide in him or not).

But one thing is clear: the only person responsible for all the actions in my life (rather good or bad) is me, myself and I. It’s not my loved ones’ fault that I’m depressed and having trouble finding employment these days. It’s not my loves ones’ fault that none of my relationships have been successful so far. All of it is attributed to ME. Because the truth is, I’m depressed, having trouble finding employment and have yet to have a successful relationship DUE to the fact that I had most recently strayed from the Lord. And this is just the Lord chastising me.

The Lord had said to me “write this person a letter and apologize”. I didn’t do it for the longest time. The Lord said “ask this person the question ‘what are your thoughts on life & God?’ ” and I didn’t do it. The Lord said “apply for this part-time job or perhaps that one”. I didn’t do it. Instead, I just sat around and wallowed in my own self-misery for a long time, with a “woe is me” attitude. And look where that got me! It got me absolutely NOWHERE!

So please…..I beg of you! DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I’VE MADE, MOST RECENTLY! Don’t sabotage the good things in your life out of distrust or fear. Don’t refuse to obey the commands of the Lord. TRUST JESUS AND WAIT ON JESUS CHRIST and have the total FAITH that he will see you through, no matter what! Do NOT make the same mistake I did and find yourself in front of the face of Jesus in a dream with Jesus turning to you and saying that next to Satan, you are your own worst sabotager and greatest enemy!

Moral of the story? TRUST JESUS CHRIST ALWAYS……..NO MATTER WHAT. Faith is EVERYTHING. For we can not enter Jesus Christ’s “New Earth” someday without faith. Faith is the thing that will either make us or break us in the end. So please, I beg of you. If you don’t have faith, PRAY to have faith. Pray to have more faith with ALL your heart, ALL your mind, ALL your body, and ALL your spirit and it shall be granted you. MARK MY WORDS!


Why Does A “Good God” Allow Suffering?

Why does a “good God” allow suffering? It is a question that has plagued man for many centuries.

Well, first of all, when everything is going well in our lives, and we are successful and have everything going in our lives (good job, lots of friends, etc.), we tend to forget God and/or contribute our “success” to ourselves, instead of to God. Therefore, we think we don’t NEED God and/or salvation and put God by the wayside.

And then, in our attempts to “find ourselves” instead of “find God”, we tend to substitute God with other things in our lives (for example, the love of money, cars, celebrities, movies, tv shows, videogames, other people, etc.)

Or maybe we know of someone who is a man or woman of God who has a bad thing or things happen to him/her and we find ourselves asking why such a “good, loving God” would do such a thing!

Answer: God uses painful or hard circumstances in our life in order to draw us closer to him! Because think about it. When we have everything we want or need in life, we tend to think we don’t NEED God in our lives.

But when our lives are tough and everything in our lives is NOT going so well, all of a sudden, and we start to realize that our lives are NOT in our own hands, we have a tendency to surrender to God and draw closer to him! (Which is exactly what God wants! He wants us to draw forever closer to him!)

Think about it. If you always got everything you EVER wanted in life and more, wouldn’t life be pretty boring?

And isn’t the old clique true “the more you have, the more you are constantly ‘in want of’”?

God throws us a curve ball every now and then to test us/our faith,, to strengthen us and give us spiritual growth in life.

A life without any spiritual growth would be a very empty, restless life, indeed.

Wouldn’t you agree?

The Struggles of Christian Vs. A Non-Believer, Part 2

Do you ever feel alone or restless in life? Like your life has no *specific* meaning or purpose? Like no-one really cares about you? Like something is missing in your life? Yet, you don’t quite know what the “something” is?

Or have you ever done something that you MAJORLY regret in your life and wish you could go back in time or start over again?

Maybe you were raised as a Christian but later turned away from the faith, as you got older. Maybe you know someone who is Christian and doesn’t seem to be living by Christian standards (going around saying things such as “God hates homosexuals”, etc) or maybe you’re just a person of “science” who doesn’t see or feel the NEED for God.

Maybe you’re addicted to alcohol, sex, attention/validation from others, money, food, fashion, TV/movies/popular culture or drugs. Maybe there was a most recent death in your family and you don’t know where to turn. Maybe you’re mad at God for the uncertain state of the economy or world chaos. Or maybe you blame God for everything going wrong in your life, in general.

Well, let me tell you something. Jesus Christ cares.

And for EACH person that calls out to Jesus’s heavenly name, he has a divine plan and purpose for each of our lives:

And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you” [Isaiah 46:4]

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” [Jeremiah 29:11]

Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honorable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life” [Isaiah 43:4]

The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee” [Jeremiah 31:3]

As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God” [1 Peter 4:10]

As an all-knowing, all-loving God…….

God knew each and every single one of us before we were born. He created us and he made us. And he understands what we’re going through, no matter what we’re facing in life. God made himself human in the form of Jesus Christ, not only so we would believe in him but so he could emphasize with “being human” [even though as both God AND Man, he was *perfect* and never sinned].

Jesus Christ (God in the flesh) was mocked, flogged/whipped, ridiculed, pierced in the side, crowned with a crown of thorns, spit on, forced to carry his own cross and then crucified. He died an *excruciatingly painful* death, in order to save mankind from God’s Wrath/unforgiveness of sins. He took the payment for sin upon Himself in order to give US (humanity) a way to “become clean” in God’s eyes and receive forgiveness of our sins and *everlasting life*. This is known as “Salvation”.

Jesus died for you and for me, and for every person in the world that has ever lived from Jesus’s time, up to the present time.

So when we pray to Jesus for forgiveness of ours sins and acknowledge to him that we are a sinner, basically what we’re doing is “accepting” Jesus’s *free gift of salvation/forgiveness of sins* into our minds, hearts, bodies and spirits and saying “thank-you Lord Jesus, for dying for my sins, as I am nothing but a sinner in need of Salvation”.

So when I say that Jesus Christ understands what you’re going through, you can TRULY believe that he knows what you’re going through, since he went through all of that [the beyond excruciatingly painful –both physically and emotionally— torchure and death], just to be able to save you and me and all of mankind from their sins/God’s wrath.

“For God so loved that world that he gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life” [John 3:16]

“For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through Him might be saved” [John 3:17]

“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the in the name of the only begotten Son of God [Jesus Christ]” {John 3:18}

So no matter what you’re facing in life (death of someone close to you, thoughts of depression/suicide, alcohol/drug addiction, severe persecution or “broken faith” as a Christian, an uncertain economic future, etc), call out to Jesus TODAY! Put your faith, trust and love in him!

He WILL have a solution to any problem in life that you’re facing right now, if you call out to him in prayer. He knows, He understands and He CARES!

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” [Hebrews 13:5]

So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me” [Hebrews 13:6]

If you put your faith, trust and love in the Lord Jesus [accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal Lord & Savior], pray for forgiveness of your sins, repent of your sins [that means, stop doing them], get baptized [FULL IMMERSION BAPTISM] in the name of Jesus Christ and CONTINUE following Jesus’s commands in the bible until the day you die, you will never have to face life alone or worry about the future ever, ever again! You will be able to rest with the peace and knowledge that you are “Saved” and that you’re going to spend eternity with God/Jesus Christ in eternal paradise, someday!!!!!

And if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ, then now is the time to *pray to believe*.

Say to Jesus: Lord, upon my uncertainty of your existence right now, please make yourself real to me. Please grant me the power to believe. Amen

And then read the Word of God in the New Testament, which commands us to pray for forgiveness of our sins, repent of our sins, accept Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior into our hearts and get baptized in the name of Jesus Christ.

Jesus says in Mark 16:16 “He who believes & is baptized is Saved but he who does not believe will be condemned”. Meaning, that the ONLY unforgiveable sin there is, is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the spirit of *Truth* and it is rewarded to/freely given to all those who believe in Jesus Christ, get baptized in his name, pray for forgiveness of their sins, REPENT (that means, give up) their sins and submit their very LIVES to him by living a life that is pleasing to God/Jesus Christ.

And sadly, Revelation 20:15 (book of Revelation, chapter 20, verse 15, at the very end of the New Testament) gives us a VERY CLEAR PICTURE of all those whom DON’T put their faith, trust, love & obedience into Jesus Christ:

And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire

So just imagine this for a moment……..Everything from the Earth, on the Earth has COMPLETELY passed away……..and you’re standing before the righteous Judgement Seat of JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY! Man……you never believed in him BEFORE……but BOY, you sure do, NOW! He’s separating all the people that ever lived on the Earth into TWO groups……One LARGE group of people on his LEFT side………and a very SMALL group of people on his RIGHT side………

You immediately look over to your large “group” on the LEFT side of Jesus and laugh a bit of relief, thinking that YOUR side must be the “redeemed side” and that the “small” side on Jesus’s RIGHT side must be the “condemned side”. You wait in nervous anticipation……..only to hear Jesus say FIRST to the VERY small group on his RIGHT side, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world” [Matthew 25:34b]

And then YOU PANIC…….as you THEN come to FULLY realize………YOU ARE ON THE “CONDEMNED SIDE” OF THE LORD!

And then, just about as your soul’s heart is about to stop, he then turns to YOUR “large group” on the left side of him and says, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels! [Matthew 25:41b] 

And then, as you and all the others are being led to the flames, you SCREAM in agony at Jesus saying, JESUS! I WAS WRONG! I WAS WRONG! LET ME INTO YOUR KINGDOM! LET ME INTO YOUR KINGDOM! LET ME INTO YOUR KINGDOM, PLEASE! I BBEEGGG OFFFF YYYOOUUU! but by THEN, it’ll be too late……..

For WHILE you were still living on the Earth, you sealed your fate by DENYING JESUS! [And please know that denying Jesus doesn’t JUST have to be a form of VERBAL DENIAL……..it can also be a LIFESTYLE DENIAL, as well. For example, those who “claim” they love Jesus but yet, don’t follow his commands in the bible! They are likened onto “Jesus deniers!”] 

The struggles of a Christian Vs. a Non-Believer

Being a Christian in today’s world is NOT easy. In fact, it’s anything but. There is SO MUCH resistance going on out there against the true believers in Christ! Even from people that are close to us! And there’s something I don’t quite understand. What is so threatening about a just, LOVING God who wishes that NONE would perish but that ALL would have *everlasting life*?

“For God [the Heavenly Father] so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son [Jesus Christ] that whoever believeth in Him [Jesus Christ] should not perish but have *everlasting life*” [life in eternity with God/Jesus Christ] John, chapter 3, verse 16 (John 3:16)

And trust me, if I & other true Christians out there know the bible to be the 100% true, holy-spirit-inspired Word of God and that ALL non-believers are condemned by God, (if they don’t come to Christ before they die), then isn’t it my job, and EVERY true Christian’s job, to preach to all the lost souls of the world so that in Jesus’s name, they may be saved? What kind of Christian would I or someone else be if they DIDN’T teach about salvation and Jesus to people? Think about it.

And when I quote bible passages that go along with what I’m saying, I don’t do it to be threatening or scary or intimidating in any way. I do it because I love ALL that I speak to and because I want them, through God’s good grace, to see the way, the truth and the light [Jesus Christ] so that their eyes may be opened and so that they will be “saved” and go into eternity WITH God/Jesus someday!

I mean, forgive me for saying this and all but who in their right mind, after reading or hearing about the descriptions of hell and/or eternal punishment in the “fire that never quenches”, would want to go there? It is NOT the *party place* that secular people make it out to be. It is a place of damnation and torment. Jesus describes it in Matthew 8:12 “But the children of the kingdom [of darkness] shall be cast into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and knashing of teeth”. In order words, excruciatingly painful!

Just like, who, after reading or hearing about the descriptions of *New Jerusalem* (God’s eternal Kingdom talked about in Revelation, chapters 21-22 in the New Testament), would NOT want to go there? It is a place where there is no pain, only happiness. No tears are shed. All who are hungry for food or thirst for water will never have to hunger or thirst ever again. There is nothing but dancing and rejoicing and no signs of aging. In other words, enlightenment/spiritual nirvana! However, even still, the Lord Jesus Christ will be worshiped in the Millennial Kingdom and beyond and inhabitants of the holy city will go up on the mountain during the feast of Tabernacles and whoever doesn’t go up to the mountain during the feast of Tabernacles will have no rain on their crops, etc. (but more about that later)….

Guys, look…..the truth of the matter is, true Christians live a very hard life. They are mocked and ridiculed (even by some fellow “wayward/worldly Christians”, called crazy by some and even sometimes betrayed by people close to them, due to their faith!

But they are SO thrilled with Jesus Christ and the forgiveness of their sins [salvation] that they want to turn around and share that total joy in knowing Jesus Christ with others. What is so threatening about THAT? True Christians feel as if it’s their mission in life to save lost souls, so that’s what they do and that’s what God calls them to do.

If you don’t want to hear the message about God, don’t take it up with ME or whatever person is trying to teach you God’s Word, take it up with God himself! Not I or anyone else am FORCING anyone to read God’s message, afterall. People read things or not, of their own free will. Just like people come to God or not of their own free will.

So PLEASE, people….I’m not forcing you to read or do ANYTHING. I am just merely telling you of what is spoken about in God’s Word in the Holy Bible and of my own experiences with God, so that you can make the decision on your own to come to God or not. What you DO in terms of coming to God or not is entirely up to YOU.

But please know (and I say this with love) that God condemns ALL non-believers that don’t accept Jesus Christ into their minds, hearts, bodies and spirits before they die….

But to fully accept Jesus Christ into one’s mind, heart, body and spirit, one must pray for forgiveness of sins, REPENT/stop doing sins, get baptized in the name of Jesus Christ and live a life that is pleasing to him UNTIL one dies.

And remember, one of the BEST kept secrets in today’s “secular world” is that Jesus Christ/God exists, and that the Devil/Satan exists. Satan would love nothing more than to have people believe he, Satan, doesn’t exist (and *especially* WANTS people believing that Jesus doesn’t exist). That way, he (Satan) is more easily able to infiltrate one’s mind, heart, body and spirit, and bend a person’s will to do his silent bidding. In fact, he’s ALWAYS behind the scenes of some of the most gruesome crimes in today’s world, as well as friends betraying friends, etc. Oftentimes after people are arrested for major crimes in today’s world, they will say something like “the voices told me to do it”, “Satan told me to do it”, etc. and these people aren’t lying! Satanic/demonic possession is a real thing in today’s world and more attention needs to be brought to it. (But that’s for another post).

Also, Satan is THE OPPRESSOR. He WANTS you to hate the people close to you. He WANTS you to feel depressed, downtrodden, hopeless, helpless, even suicidal. He WANTS you to struggle with additions (be it alcohol, food, drugs, music, cars, guns, etc.) He WANTS you to think that both he and Jesus aren’t real. He WANTS you to doubt your faith and not live a true Christian life. He WANTS you to be overcome with a love for entertainment (music, movies, videogames, television, etc.). He WANTS you to write off the bible as “myth”.

He WANTS you to turn away from Jesus Christ at all costs. He WANTS you to do bad things that he knows aren’t pleasing to God so he can try to suck your soul away someday. He WANTS you to be a backslidden Christian. He WANTS you to lose your faith AND hope in Jesus Christ so you will become part of the “Satanic fold”. He WANTS you to think that you can’t make a positive difference in this world. He WANTS you to not do the things that Jesus Christ wants you to do (“tell your friend you’re sorry”, “write this person a letter”, “go see how so and so is doing at your work”, etc.) Basically, he wants everything that Jesus Christ DOESN’T want for you or your life.

And Jesus Christ, on the other hand, is THE REDEEMER. HE wants you to love the people close to you (and around you). HE wants you to forgive those who have hurt you. HE wants you to feel joy and peace in your life. HE wants to give you hope and a future. HE wants to help you overcome your addictions, to heal on the inside and to be set free from all your addictions. HE wants you to know that both he and Satan are real. HE doesn’t want you to doubt your faith but will help you overcome your doubts if you cry out to him about it in prayer. HE wants you to live a true, Christian life that is pleasing to him.

HE does NOT want you to be overcome with a love for entertainment (music, movies, videogames, television money, etc.), the things in and of this world, etc. HE wants you to turn away from SATAN and Satan’s “entertainment/lust/greed” agenda at all costs. HE doesn’t want you to be a backslidden Christian but wants to help you overcome your sin(s). HE wants to help you make a positive difference in today’s world (even if you’ve only helped just ONE soul on the planet……in God’s eyes, you’ve helped him a TON just by helping that ONE soul). HE wants you to do things in your life for HIS glory. And basically, Jesus Christ wants everything for you and your life that Satan DOESN’T want (peace, joy, salvation, everlasting life).

Jesus said in Mark 16:16 “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be condemned”.