Posts tagged ‘Jesus Christ’s Love’

How The Lord Saved Me From Suicide…..[UPDATED]

 

I’m very ashamed and embarrassed to admit this, but when I was around 19-21 years old, I had made around 5+ suicide attempts on my life. The reasons for my wanting to do so were varied but the number one reason I wanted to do it EACH individual time was because I had lost my faith/trust in Jesus Christ, falsely thought EACH time that Jesus Christ didn’t love me anymore, and was under MOST SEVERE DEMONIC OPPRESSION.

People seem to think that those who try to kill themselves are “stupid”, “foolish” or “weak” or what not but please BELIEVE ME when I say that WHEN a person attempts suicide, they feel as though they’re at the end of their rope and HAVE NO HOPE. Even CHRISTIAN PEOPLE who have strong faith can become suicidal (sometimes even REPEATEDLY suicidal – as was in my case) when they feel as though they’re all forgotten about by Jesus Christ, like Jesus Christ is no longer there in their lives or loves them anymore, when they began to feel as though they’re too “bad” to get into Paradise/Eternal kingdom of God, someday, etc.

But you’ve got to remember that Satan and his fellow fallen angels (DEMONS) are GREAT DECEIVERS. It all starts out SO SMALL, too. As in “man, I did REALLY, REALLY BAD on that test today” or “man, I’m such a loser” or the like. And then slowly over time, Satan and his demons try to go even further by putting the following FALSE THOUGHTS in one’s head:

“You’re ugly, you’re no good, you’re a loser, you’re never gonna amount to ANYTHING in life, you’ll never have kids/family of your own, no-one’s ever gonna want to marry you, Jesus Christ hates you, your name’s been permanently etched out of the Book of Life, hell awaits you, everybody hates you, nobody loves you, you’re stupid, you’re weak, everybody’s making fun of you and laughing at you behind your back, your life’s NEVER gonna get better, nobody will miss you/nobody will come to your funeral, Jesus Christ WILL forgive you if you kill yourself, you’re FAT, you’re HIDEOUS, everybody WANTS you to kill yourself, you’re dying of cancer, your Satanic-worshiping relative will go to eternal paradise someday and YOU won’t, it’s TOO LATE for you to be forgiven of your sins now, Jesus Christ will NEVER forgive all your sins, you’re such an IDIOT, YOU tried to kill yourself on more than one occasion, YOU made Jesus Christ CRY, etc.”

And even though most Christians KNOW in their heart of hearts that the false thoughts that Satan and his demons try to put into their minds, hearts, body and spirits are blatantly FALSE……..over time…….the thoughts become OVERPOWERING in their mind. And nothing they seem to say or do seems to “shut off” the thoughts. Some turn to the bible or to Jesus Christ and try to PRAY away their pain.

But then, they sometimes lose heart and lose their TRUST in Jesus Christ (and the fact that he has the power to change their lives around) when Satan and his demonoids RELENTLESSLY come at them with: “Oh, sure! Cry out to Jesus! He doesn’t give a *darn* about you or what happens in your life! Ah……He’s forgotten ALL about you, you poor fool! That’s why you’re in this mess in the first place! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!” Yet OTHERS will try to turn to TV, music, movies, shopping, food and/or the internet to try to “drown out” their pain.

They began to relentlessly search for OTHER methods to try to drown out the pain and/or demonic influences trying to overtake them. Some turn to drinking or drugs to try to drown out those negative thoughts (which oddly, only manages to INCREASE the demons’ hold on their mind & spirit!) Others try listening to sad, depressing music, loud heavy metal, trance/new age to try to drown out the self-hatred/self-anger in their soul (which oddly, only seems to INCREASE IT!)

Sadly, listening to new age or heavy metal music actually invites demons to come into your mind, heart, body and spirit. Therefore, listening to “angry” heavy metal music or new age music doesn’t “help” the problem of negative thoughts (coming about from demonic oppression to the person), it only serves to EXACERBATE THEM. Yet others try to turn to Wicca/Witchcraft, thinking that The Craft will somehow help them gain control over their own lives………only to later realize that dabbling in Witchcraft has *damning consequences* to the mind, heart, body and spirit! (Once the demons are invited in, they very rarely go!!!!! Plus they make you do things you would NEVER normally do under normal circumstances. They become in COMPLETE CONTROL over you and your life becomes not your own anymore! Very scary, INDEED!)

Three separate times with the 19-21 years of age time-frame, I tried to smother myself, each attempt being months apart from the previous one. And EACH time, I was well within a single BREATH of my life, and I’d hear the sound of Jesus Christ sitting beside me on the couch/bed, BITTERLY BITTERLY BREAKING DOWN AND WEEPING and saying to me, “I know your apparent reasons for wanting to do this but WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?”, and AS he said those words to me during each of the 3 separate attempts, he would POWERFULLY and AGGRESSIVELY (perhaps even ANGRILY?) grab the pillow away from me and THROW it across the room!

And each and every time, I would simply KNOW it was him, no doubt in my mind, whatsoever! And I’d break down and cry afterwards, each and every time and would be ever so grateful that he saved me. And things would be okay for awhile. But then the total SHAME & GUILT would come in and overtake me: “YOU tried to kill yourself more than once! YOU made Jesus CRY!” and I would start to HATE MYSELF all over again. It was such a vicious cycle.

I made 3 more meager attempts at suicide within that 19-21 years of age time-frame but NONE of those times worked out. Something always happened. Either somebody would distract me by making a phone call to me and telling me they were coming over to the house, or the pills I tried to O.D. on did nothing TO me or a violent t-storm kept me too distracted to concentrate on killing myself. So I kind’ve gave up on trying to kill myself after awhile. I thought: “what’s the point in trying to kill myself if the Lord won’t even let me die, anyways?” But at the same time, I was almost in a sense somewhat angry at the Lord for not letting me kill myself. I remember saying outloud: “Lord, why can’t you just let me die in peace? Can’t you see I’m in ALOT of pain? I’m in SO much pain these days that I can barely even BREATHE!”

One day, I just couldn’t take it anymore and got to my breaking point again. I decided I should just end it all and reasoned with myself that hell would probably feel “sensational” compared to the current pain I was under. So as I sat at the computer one night, I decided to humor myself a bit and went to the site http://www.suicide.com thinking that maybe it would tell me some good ways to try to off myself. [And remember, even though I was grateful for Jesus saving me from all PREVIOUS attempts, up until that point, I had felt SO MUCH SHAME AND GUILT for even wanting to attempt it in the first place……and for making him cry……and that shame and guilt felt BEYOND OVERPOWERING……..

So I went on the website and the very first image I saw on the screen was an animated image of a white candle being lit on the left hand side of the screen. I thought to myself “hhmm……that’s weird”. And then I noticed italicized words being typed across the page (left to right)…..as if being typed on a typewriter. They were “scrolling” across the page. The words were saying things like “Hi, I am here to help you. And before you do anything drastic, I want you to wait a bit. Wait 5 minutes, hear me out, just read what I have to say.  I thought “okay, I can do that, sounds reasonable enough”.

And as the words (in bold black italic Comic Sans? font) were being typed & scrolled across the page, I was astounded at what I was reading. My first assumption was “hhmm. must be a computer tech guy on the website or something”. But then I noticed the “person” typing messages to me across the webpage seemed “super human”, almost “angelic”, even. For this “person” seemed to be reading my every waking thought! And then scroll-typing it across the page! Things about me, that up until that point, I hadn’t told a SOUL! And there was NO way this “person” could’ve possibly known all that, save they being a holy, divine angel of the Lord!

So my first question was “who are you?” The angel tried to say that it wasn’t important and that he had a job to do. But I pestered and pestered the angel. Finally, the “angel” admitted that he was Michael! Once I discovered the true identity of the “person” typing across the page [as in, the archangel Michael], I gave him a VERY hard time by asking outloud “oh yeah? if the Lord’s so good, how come he makes me suffer with severe depression and severe social anxiety?” while also reminding him of just how ANGRY the Lord had gotten with me a week earlier after I accidentally mocked Jesus without meaning to but that even then, I didn’t think I was worthy of life, now and things like that. In short, I was trying to keep Michael there as long as possible.

He told me about the realities of and just how HOT the fires of hell and the lake of fire are. He described it to me like this: “light a flame from a small lighter” (commanding me to do this literally, saying he’d wait for me until I did so). “Now hold your finger and/or hand over the flame. FEEL THE INTENSITY of that flame and how hot it is!” (Again, waiting for me until I did just that). Then he continued…..

“Now imagine a flame that’s 10,000 times hotter than the flame being placed under your hand now and that is just a small TASTE of what the fire of hell is like. And someday, the fires of hell are gonna MERGE INTO what’s called the lake of fire. The lake of fire is 1,000,000,000 times hotter than the fires of hell. And all those who don’t put their faith, trust and love into Lord Jesus will burn in the lake of fire for ETERNITY. Is that what you want? he asked.

I had to admit that no, that’s not what I wanted, that’s not what I wanted AT ALL. In fact, NONE of those times did I really want to die, I just wanted the pain the end. Michael reminded me JUST HOW LUCKY I was that the Lord Jesus cared SO much about me, that he wouldn’t let me die and go to hell any of those times. Michael reminded me that had Jesus Christ truly wanted to, he could’ve just let me die and sent me straight to hell…….the very same hell that Michael was describing to me across the webpage! [moments earlier]

At the conclusion of our discussion, (me speaking outloud or thinking to myself) and Michael responding to my thoughts and questions through his scrolling words across the webpage, he told me he had to quickly leave because he had another job to do (another suicide he must try to prevent), but made me promise I wouldn’t harm myself that night or the next couple nights to come.

I promised him I wouldn’t. Then I shut down my browser and completely turned off my computer. Afterall, Michael’s mission in the name of the Lord [atleast as far as “I” was concerned] had already been accomplished, or so I thought.

Right after I shut down my computer, I heard a soft whispering voice behind me say “look up at your blank monitor screen, hurry, you don’t want to miss it”. So I looked up at my blank monitor screen and across my blank, completely turned-off monitor screen were the scrolling words (from right to left) in light blue italic [what looked like 36pt or so Trebuchet MS] font: “The Lord Bless You and Keep You. Amen”. And then, just like that, the archangel Michael was gone, on to the next big assignment of trying to save yet ANOTHER poor soul from suicide, as he had just told me moments earlier before his telling me to look up at the blank computer screen.

And I just sat there, staring at my blank computer screen for quite some time, even going so far as to tenderly rub my hand across the blank computer monitor screen, pondering what had just happened. It was nothing short of a miracle! [YET AGAIN, in my life!] I broke down and cried! And just stared at that blank computer screen for HOURS. [Next to the day I met Jesus Christ in person near the age of 2, and next to the previous 3 times Jesus miraculously saved me from suicide, I had never felt so LOVED, CHERISHED and VALUED!)

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that ALL failed suicide attempts in one’s life are A TRUE GIFT FROM THE LORD ABOVE! (No one suicide attempt – if successful – is worth an eternity in hell/the lake of fire!!!!!). And the point I want to try to make is THIS: Just because the Lord Jesus Christ repeatedly saved ME or other people from suicide does NOT mean that he’s going to automatically save EVERYONE from suicide. And life is a gamble. Ya never know if you’d end up being one of the ones he prevented from suicide or if you’ll be one of the ones that he allows to go ahead and die.

THEREFORE, DON’T TRY TO KILL YOURSELVES, PEOPLE! Life is worth living! Talk to a trusted friend, family member, counselor, etc. if you’re feeling depressed! Do NOT keep it all bottled up inside! And if anyone close to you TELLS you to go kill yourself, DON’T LISTEN TO THEM! For Satan has many faces! And remember, Satan WANTS you to kill yourself so you’ll go to the flames FOR ETERNITY! But Jesus Christ does NOT want you to kill yourself! Jesus Christ WANTS you to live so that you can hopefully someday join him in Eternal Paradise! Jesus Christ CARES! 😉 And he loves you more than you could ever imagine, MARK MY WORDS! 😉

I pray that ALL souls who read this will be SAVED from suicide and severe depressive thoughts, now and for eternity. Amen.

P.S.: If you’re severely depressed and need someone to talk to, please write to: pray_to_Jesus@yahoo.com

 

Jesus Christ Loves You!

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done in life so far. Jesus loves you. And in him, you can be made whole again.

Maybe you grew up in the Christian faith but later turned on it when you got older. Maybe you feel as though God just isn’t there in your life or that there is no god. Maybe you’ve seen some hypocritical things that Christians have done and it has turned you off from Christianity. Maybe you struggle with an alcohol or drug addiction or feel like you’re not good enough or worthy enough for God.

Or maybe you’ve just never heard the name of Jesus Christ before and don’t know who he is or what he did or why his name should be important. Or further still, maybe you were born into/follow a different religion OR you feel as though God is just a God of “too many rules”, etc.

Well, let me tell you something. Jesus loves you! It doesn’t matter if you’re a druggie and/or drug dealer, bank robber, alcoholic, embezzler, stripper, homosexual, jihadist, Hindu/Muslim/Atheist/Buddhist, etc. Jesus loves you. And he wants to have a spiritual relationship with you and to give you the FREE gifts of salvation(forgiveness of sins) and eternal life! And it’s not a “maybe” or a “case by case basis”, you can know for 100% certainty that you are saved/forgiven of sins and reserved a special place in God’s eternal kingdom!

The following are the very moving, personal testimonies of 2 radical Muslims and a former stripper who got saved by Jesus!

Khalil’s Testimony
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaHH3s15hXc&feature=PlayList&p=
F40DD4D90B9BB631&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=52
Part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt18EElho18&feature=PlayList&p=
F40DD4D90B9BB631&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=7
Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS6GzsLWih0&feature=PlayList&p=
F40DD4D90B9BB631&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=8
Part 3

Ashin’s Testimony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YUk6lpajdI Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1cSSFJGfN0&feature=related Part 2

Former Stripper’s Testimony [warning: very moving, tear-jerker]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjTbuY9Q1BE&feature=related

Jesus Christ is now appearing to people in dreams and visions and coming into people’s lives through strange experiences by the droves! We are living in the Last Days. Jesus will take you just as you are. And you don’t have to be live like Mother Teresa for Jesus to love and accept you, Jesus will take you just as you are. Jesus extends the FREE gifts of eternal life in paradise AND salvation (forgiveness of sin) to EVERYONE who HUMBLY and SINCERELY calls upon his great and holy name!

It doesn’t matter WHAT you’ve done in life so far, Jesus loves you! And he wants to get to know you! He knew you before you were born and before you even took your very 1st breath!He has a special plan for you. And he will never leave or forsake you, after you learn to put your faith & trust in him! And once more, he CARES what you’re going through. Whatever problem you’re having in life right now (be it financial, physical, mental, emotional, etc.), Jesus gots a solution! So please, I urge you to come to Jesus today! Jesus is the greatest inner peace & joy I’ve ever known in all my LIFE! In him, my spirit is complete! And in him, I never have to be afraid for I know that I will be eternally with him in his eternal paradise someday! In Jesus’s name, you can be sure!

You won’t ever have to question rather or not you’ll be saved/forgiven of all your sins. For EVERY person who calls on the name of the Lord Jesus, obeys Jesus’s commandments and gets baptized in his name WILL be saved! Jesus gives the free gift of *eternal salvation* to all who call upon his name! And he alone has the keys to the gates of heaven & hell.

Jesus is the ONLY one who can save us from hell and the ONLY one that can give us the free gifts of Salvation and eternal life, if we call upon his name. Jesus is like a free *eternal present* given to us by God. But in order to receive the *free eternal present*, we must first approach God in prayer and *ask* to receive the “free gift of Jesus Christ” for the remission/forgiveness of our sins and eternal life.

We must approach Jesus Christ in prayer and pray for forgiveness of our sins. The moment we do and get baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, we receive our *free gift of eternal life* with God someday. 

And YES…..baptism is a necessary rite of Christian passage to become saved….the MOMENT we become baptized (believing with all our minds, hearts, body and spirit that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior, that he was crucified and died for our sins, that he was resurrected just 3 days later and ascended up to heaven 40 days later to be on the right hand side of the Heavenly Father/God Almighty), we receive the FREE gifts of the Holy Spirit (the gift of *spiritual discernment* to know what is truly of God and what is NOT truly of God) & everlasting life.

And IN this day and age when SO many false gospels are floating around in today’s world and over the internet and in LARGE, televangelist churches, it is IMPERTINENT that all should receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Not only for spiritual discernment but to CONVICT US OF OUR SIN! For example, if we are doing something against God’s will, the Holy Spirit will IMMEDIATELY point it out to us and LET US KNOW…....

In other words, it’s the spiritual force that keeps us grounded….It says in the bible that BLASPHEMY of the Holy Spirit is the ONLY unforgivable sin. So what does that mean, you may ask? Well, the truth is, nobody knows for 100% sure but here are all my best educated guesses: [and remember, a person has to literally die/pass way IN death in an UNREPENTANT state of sin to be unforgiven for it].

1. To not believe in God/Jesus Christ

2. To say that Jesus got his power from Satan to cast out demons, heal sickness, instead of getting it from the Heavenly Father

3. To not get baptized and believe it’s “not necessary” to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit/spiritual discernment & conviction

4. To mock the Holy Spirit and/or to call the Holy Spirit a liar

5. To say that Jesus was NOT the Son of God or to say that Jesus was NOT crucified

6. To not believe in the Holy Spirit 

7. To believe that Jesus and Satan were brothers or considered “equal” in heaven, before the fall

Matthew 12:31-32 has this to say: “Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come”